Toast
by Tofu-Master
Summary: Madarao learns the hard way, never to interfere with a determined man and his eating habits. Especially not at three o'clock in the morning. Madarao x Tokusa. AU. Crack. You have been warned.


_**Author's Note: **_...Don't ask. Just - _don't. Ask_;;;  
I don't know how this happened. Really. I don't. But I think we can at least _partially_ blame Mandy/Harmony283 for it. I started writing this about 3am Friday morning. Before Mandy had gone to bed, she told me to think about MadaToku. This...is what happened;;;  
Now if you're wondering, 'Why toast?' or 'Why so early in the morning?' ...I do this. Exact. Same. Thing. Everysingleday;;;

In any case. I'm sure it's obvious enough, but this is AU. Now. On to the good stuff, shall we?

Beta'd by the lovely Olivia/-mazeru-. Thank you dear~~

**Title:** Toast  
**Pairing/Fandom:** Madarao x Tokusa/_D. Gray__-Man_  
**Author: **Tofu-Master  
**Wordcount:** 741, apparently.  
**Rating:** T, to be safe.  
**Warnings:** ...Uhm. Crack? Does that count? Mildly implied male x male 'stuff', but definitely nothing too yummy/bad. xD

**~o~**

At first, Madarao wasn't quite sure what had jarred him from his sleep. It could have been the lack of weight on his chest, or the missing warmth against his side. But then - then he heard a loud (albeit muffled, as doors and walls tended to do to distant sounds) bang.

He grunted once as he turned himself over, reaching blindly for a moment, before his fingers finally found purchase on the switch to the bedside lamp, and he flicked it on. He looked down briefly at the blatantly empty space next to him in the bed, and shook his head.

Well. That had certainly answered his question. But at the same time, it raised another, and he could feel his eyebrow twitch, just barely. _What_ on Earth was Tokusa doing, at - he glanced at the clock - 3am?

And there it was again. A bit louder this time, and in the form of a thud - followed by a cuss. And coming from the kitchen.

With a weary sigh, he sat himself up, sliding his legs out of the bed, and getting to his feet. Grabbing his robe off the hook on the door, he pulled it on and tied it loosely around himself, before pulling said door open, and migrating down the short hallway to the rest of the house.

After barely a few moments, he stepped into the kitchen, only mildly surprised to see his missing bedmate - clad only in boxers and a loose t-shirt (_his_ t-shirt, by the looks of it) - standing on a chair against the counter, digging through the cupboards. All of them, it seemed, as aforementioned counter was cluttered with food. All still thankfully within their respective packages, but still.

"...Tokusa?"

"Mm?"

He took a step closer, and spoke again. "What in God's name are you doing?"

"I _was_ going to make toast, but I can't find the honey." His tone implied that that was some significant crime against nature, and he didn't even bother to turn around; opting instead to continue rummaging through the cupboards.

"Why..?"

"I was hungry." A simple reply - ideal for someone as 'busy' and distracted as Tokusa seemed to be.

"...At three in the morning..?"

Tokusa scoffed, and finally - finally turned to face him, almost tripping off the chair in the process. Madarao made a move to catch him, but the younger man had already righted himself. "I don't choose when my stomach demands food. I just obey."

"...I'm serious. It's three. In the morning."

"Well, I know that." Tokusa gave him a look that almost - if Madarao didn't know any better - suggested that the younger man thought him to be stupid. Or at the very least, a bit dull - which, considering the ungodly hour, was an entirely feasible possibility. "And _I'm_ serious. I'm hungry. Now help me find the honey?"

"Tokusa..."

"Yes~?"

"...Come to bed."

The hopeful smile quickly faded from Tokusa's face, and he turned back to face the cupboards. "Help me find the honey, first."

Madarao sighed, and shook his head. "Tomorrow. I'll help you look in the morning, but right now, it is _3am_, and you should be asleep."

"So should you," came the quick reply, and Madarao resisted the urge to groan in exasperation. Patience was a virtue, after all, and one he happened to pride himself in his mastery of.

"Yes. So should I. And why did I wake up again? Oh, yes. Because I could hear you banging around in the kitchen, at _three o'clock in the morning_."

"Only because you hid the honey."

Madarao felt his eyebrow twitch. "I didn't hide it."

"Then why can't I find it? I'm the only one who eats it. You always complain that you can't stand the texture - though I can't really see why, considering it's only a little bit different from-"

"_Tokusa_!"

"Well, then where is it?" The greenette sighed, and clambered back down off the chair, before stalking up to his lover. "It's not where I always keep it, and I sure as Hell didn't move it, so where did it go?"

This was hopeless. It was like trying to argue with a woman - he was never right, and he always lost, inevitably, in the end. "Did it never occur to you, that you may have eaten it all, and the jar got taken out with the recycling yesterday?"

"..."

Madarao raised an eyebrow, waiting. "What?"

"...Did it?"

"..."

"Why are _you_ silent now?"

**~o~**

_**Author's Note: **_...Yeah. Sorry about that. I had to;;; xD  
Review? Please? ;a;


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